3 Lessons from 2 Years of Simple Goals

For the last couple of years I have made the decision to select a handful of "simple" goals to focus on during the year. This has allowed me to keep the momentum going while not feeling like a total failure by the end of January. Whether it's the goal to read more (even if it's just a page or two a day) or move more (walking the driveway once or twice a week) or eat better (put down the cookie, drive past Starbucks without stopping for a calorie-laden treat), being able to check off a box gives me a little boost and keeps me coming back for more. 

Photo by Glenn Carstens-Peters on Unsplash

My first list was "24 in 24" and in looking back at it now, I am so thankful for some of those goals, such as intentionally spending more time with my parents. In December of 2023, when I made that one of my simple goals for the year, I had no idea that my mom would be gone in June of 2025. But for a year and a half I intentionally stopped by their house, made time for meals, and encouraged my kids to spend time with their grandparents. And now that she's gone, I'm not sitting here full of regrets. 

LESSON: If you're putting off seeing someone because the timing is inconvenient, STOP. Call them. Write an actual card and mail it. Stop by their house and spend an hour talking. Invite them over for a meal or offer to bring food to them. There will come a day when that is no longer an option, and you will wish that you could.  

In my "25 for 25" I kept some of the same goals (like spending time with my parents) and tweaked others. Again, in looking back on the goals I set towards the end of 2024, even though I didn't know what the year would hold, I'm actually surprised by the number of them I was able to mark off, even with all the curve balls. I tweaked those goals a bit last January, and I'm so glad I did. Not only were we more intentional with our time, but we took three trips this year and made lots of family memories, we did special events out of the blue, and we were able to focus on different kids at different times. 

LESSON: Aim for something and you'll have a better chance of hitting it. Leave it up to chance, and you'll be left with nothing but a pile of regrets and no time left. It doesn't have to be a trip to Disney with the whole family, it could be $1.50 slushies from the grocery store on a random Tuesday. Don't put a price tag on being together. 

And so here I am, with 2026 bearing down on me, minus one parent, with four teenagers in tow. Our calendar is full, plans are already in process for sending four kids overseas for seven weeks this summer (and we get a temporary empty nest!) and then one kid off to college a week after they return. My dad will be 85 this year, so anything could happen there. I have a physical list of things I need to get done this week, in January, in the spring, before August...you get the idea. 

LESSON: Life never slows down, it just changes. There will never be the "perfect time" to do the things you want to do, so go ahead and make the list. Fix dates on the calendar (in pencil!). Make (refundable) plans. Be intentional with your time, money, goals, and brain space. If you want to read 50 books in 2026, then that means you need to carry them with you, use the Kindle app, and say NO to doom scrolling and binge-watching. We don't get more time, but we do get something of a say in how we use what is given to us. Use it well. 

Are you setting goals (simple or not) for 2026?

Care to share? Hit me up in the comments! 

The Great Life Explosion (Or Why I Didn't Finish a Book in June)

My mom passed away on June 12th. From diagnosis to death was just six weeks, and in that time I spent much of it caring for her, helping my dad, making arrangements, becoming an expert in how Hospice works and the intricacies of Schedule II narcotics and how to administer them safely. And then she died, and I wrote a eulogy for her funeral, planned the service with my siblings, organized food, spoke at her memorial, extroverted at the visitation, and then hopped in a car and drove 10 hours to Florida to drop off three of our kids for their summer mission trips. 

In other words, reading didn't happen, but life did.

Photo by Clara Carruthers on Unsplash

There are several life events it feels like no one talks about or prepares you for, and I'm currently juggling a few of them. Perimenopause and the changes that come with that being one (good luck having a productive conversation with your GYN about that, unless you bring it up and move it forward!), the death of a parent being another. Fortunately (??), I have several friends who have already buried one or both parents, and they have kindly shared some insights from their experience. But, much like raising kids - everyone's experience and situation is unique to them. You have to factor in family, expectations, finances, personalities, faith, and so much more, making each and every situation just a little bit of a crap shoot. 

My mom was 84-years old. She had lived a long life, and a good one. That being said, her death was still unexpected. In six months she went from being a vivacious grandma to a shell of herself, not even able to get out of bed on her own. In the last six weeks she went from a loving wife and mom, always waiting on others and making sure they had what they needed, to someone in need of 24-hour care. 

We don't get a say in how we die. Sometimes I think it would be nice if we did. Of course I think that - I'm a recovering control enthusiast! But since we don't, the next best thing we can do, if we have any foreknowledge of our end, is to die well. In this case, that meant Mom's kids reading the Bible to her when she could no longer read it for herself. It involved singing to her when she could no longer sing with us. It looked like helping her eat, drink, walk, and go to the bathroom. In many ways, it was the reverse of what she did for all five of her kids when we were babies and toddlers. 

And it was the greatest honor of my life to be a part of her care. 

There were many days when I got into my car after being at my parent's house for 12 and 14 hours, and cried all the way home. It's not easy watching your mother die or her husband of 64-years try to figure out how to do life without his spouse. Not only is it not easy, there are times when it downright stinks. 

But throughout this entire process, from the beginning of all the tests in April, to her final breath in June, the one message that has been impressed upon my head and heart over and over again is this: God is Good. 

It's a simple message. But one that I know, without a shadow of a doubt, to be true. People say it easily enough when life is going well. When the vacation plans pan out, when you get the job promotion and the raise, when you sniff that "new car smell" or make the last payment on your dream home. But what about in the grey times? What about when the basic bills exceed the size of your paycheck? When your marriage doesn't go the "happily ever after" route? When your child goes down a path you'd rather they not go because you know it will only hurt them, and possibly others? Or when the test comes back positive for cancer...when your mother has shrunk to a shell of herself...when your dad gets in the car to go home by himself. Can you still say that God is good?  

Psalm 34 is all about the goodness of the LORD:

Oh, taste and see that the Lord is good! Blessed is the man who takes refuge in him! {vs. 8}

But a few verses later, David reminds us: 

"17 When the righteous cry for help, the Lord hears and delivers them out of all their troubles. 18 The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit. 19 Many are the afflictions of the righteous, but the Lord delivers him out of them all."

The righteous WILL have afflictions, but in those afflictions, the LORD is near. When we are "crushed in spirit," the LORD is Good. When we "cry for help," the LORD hears. In other words, if we want to die well, we must first live well. We must, like Job, be able to say in all situations, "The LORD gives and the LORD takes away. Blessed be the Name of the LORD." Or, more simply, God is Good. And He is, my friend, He is. 

I miss my mom. But she is more alive today than she has ever been before. I hurt for my dad. But I know the Lord is near to the brokenhearted, saving the crushed in spirit, and before we know it my dad will be reunited with his sweetheart, face-to-face with the LORD, singing praises to their Savior. What hope and joy is mine in knowing this life, this interlude, is but a vapor, but Heaven is forever. 

God Is Good.

Focus on the Positive

A friend recently pointed out that she tends to listen to her inner critic and focus on all the things she didn't accomplish, all the ways she failed (even if it wasn't an actual failure). But when she sat down at the beginning of the year to review her goals from last year, she decided to focus on the positive instead, rather than honing in on the goals she didn't meet. And lo and behold...her list of "wow" moments from 2024 grew before her eyes. 

Photo by S O C I A L . C U T on Unsplash

I thought this was a brilliant observation. How often do you look at the negative, focusing on all the things that didn't work or that you didn't try or didn't do? And on the flip side, how often do you celebrate the "little" wins and appreciate the steps you took to do something different? With this in mind, I'd like to publicly put out there my list of "wows" for 2024, and encourage you to take some time to process your own "wow" moments from the last year. If my guess is correct, you probably have more of them then you might think...

• I only walked one day the week of New Years. Since June, I walked an average of 5 days a week for 6 months straight, after being a couch potato, basically since 2020!
• I only lost 7 lbs. this year, and now I'm stuck. I started intermittent fasting in April and am still doing it and feel better overall than I have in a few years!
• I only read one book in December. I set a goal to read 48 books this year, which I completed in August and went on to read 62 books for the year!
• I didn't save for a vacation like I planned. We took the kids on multiple "adventure days" and splurged on local events and meals that made for great memories!
• I didn't have time to invest in local friendships. I was surprised by a couple of friendships that developed over text and have become lifelines on hard days!
• My husband had to close his business. We took a leap into a new venture and so far it's paying the bills and God has provided even more than we expected!
• I didn't get as many outside work gigs as I hoped. I heard from an old client who responded to an email I'd sent months earlier, which provided income right when we needed it!

Do you see the difference? One viewpoint only looks at things through the lens of failure. The things I wanted to accomplish but didn't. The other focuses on all the good things that did happen! I'll be honest, as an INTJ, I'm not great at looking at the positive (realism is built into my DNA!). But this was such a good exercise in recognizing, not only how many good things happened over the last year, but all the ways I changed in my mindset and outlook along the way.

What are your "wow" moments?

 

Big Picture (25 in 25) Simple Goals (a.k.a. #DoSomething)

I was recently chatting with a friend and we were discussing goals and goal setting, as well as just making time to look back and appreciate what we accomplished last year and how far we've come. As an INTJ, there is something so satisfying about making lists and setting goals. It's not about trying to prove something to the world, it's just setting the bar higher for myself, because, as I have been known to say for years now, "There is always room for improvement." Not only do I set the bar high for those around me (I don't expect perfection, but I do expect you to try), but I hold myself to the same standard of not just staying in my comfort zone, but constantly learning something new. 

Photo by Brett Jordan on Unsplash

Around October of last year, shortly after Hurricane Helene wrecked havoc in the mountains of eastern TN and western NC, my motto became, "Do Something." It didn't matter if it was big or small, if it only affected me or if it involved the whole family, I no longer wanted to assume that tomorrow was a guarantee. As a Christian, I have always known and quoted the verses in James 4... 

13 Now listen, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.” 14 Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. 15 Instead, you ought to say, “If it is the Lord’s will, we will live and do this or that.” 16 As it is, you boast in your arrogant schemes. All such boasting is evil. 17 If anyone, then, knows the good they ought to do and doesn’t do it, it is sin for them.

But having the reality of this literally fall into my backyard, to see people's lives uprooted, homes destroyed, roads washed away, dreams shattered, was a real wake-up call to stop putting off the things that I wanted to do "some day" and to start making them happen now. Maybe it wouldn't be perfect, and that's okay. Maybe it would cost money, but I was going to spend that money on something anyway. Maybe it was inconvenient or it would cause me to get out of my comfort zone, but putting everything off for a time when convenience was king would just leave me a year older with more regrets that I didn't take advantage of the moment of opportunity. And so I embraced the idea of "Do Something."

I have selected words or phrases in past years to help me keep my focus for the year, but this year I think I'm just going to keep going with the #DoSomething idea. Don't wait for the perfect time, doing something now is better than not doing anything at all. 

I came up with a general list of ideas for 2025 (leaving room for expansion) which I wrote about in November (you can read that post here). It was a good list. I like what I started with. And while I'm not ditching the ideas found there by any means, as I got to the end of the year and the beginning of a new one, I realized that committing to Do Something daily was better for me than big picture lists. So without further ado, here are the things I'm committed to working on in 2025: 

• Getting rid of 365+ things (I've already made a big dent in this, and am halfway through April!)
• Walk or bike five days a week (this will restart on January 6)
• Lower the grocery budget by $10/month - OR - eat healthier (I don't think I can do both)
• Write what #iamthankful for in a notebook, daily
• Monday-Friday, Instagram is turned off on my phone (and FB too), to stop mindless scrolling
• Read 60 books this year (average of five books a month)
• Commit to buying no new (or used) clothes or shoes for me in 2025
• Get out of bed 10 minutes earlier each month/earlier start to the day (which goes with...)
• Create a nighttime routine (skin care, vitamins, no phone, read paper book, hot tea, earlier to bed)

And as for those bigger goals, the ones that made the 25 in 25 list, here are a few steps I took this week to make those ideas a reality:

• I planned out special events (not even big stuff) and put them on my Google calendar (that I live and die by). Things like taking the kids down to the grocery store to get slushies for $1.50 after school one day a month, or taking them four times this year to our local Mennonite donut store to use the gift cards I planned ahead and bought during the holiday season so we could get the free $20 in bonus cards. 
• I spent time on Booking.com, planning out a summer trip and actually booking places to stay (with free cancellation), and setting up get togethers with friends along the way. That also allows me to know how much I need to set aside to for our vacation fund.
• I bought a bunch of apples at the grocery this weekend and we cut a lot of them up so they're easy to grab and snack on (crispy apples are even better than oily potato chips!).
• Knowing that my parents are getting older and it's not as easy for them to host us, I invited them to join us several times over the holidays, which they loved and we made more memories that we will treasure in years to come.
• As much as I dislike playing games, I know my kids love having "family time" - so I purposely ordered the Muppet's version of ClueⓇ, selected some special treats (most purchased 75% off after Christmas!), and we baked pizzas and spent New Year's Eve playing games, eating snacks, and reading through our box of memories that we had written down throughout the year. 

This week I was looking ahead to 2025 and the thought that crossed my mind was tempus fugit. Our eldest daughter (who has already flown from the nest) will be 21 this year. Our youngest will join three other siblings and become our final teenager. This fall we'll have two high school freshman, one sophomore, and one junior. We're planning a college visit this November. Before we know it, they'll be spreading their wings and moving on to the next segment of life, which I absolutely love and support, but it also takes my breath away. It always felt like we had more time to do the things we wanted to do, to take the trips, to make the memories. As it turns out, it's time to take my own advice and Do Something.

"The future is something which everyone reaches at the rate of sixty minutes an hour, whatever he does, whoever he is." 

~ C.S. Lewis

Thinking Ahead (Simple Goals for 2025)

I know it's not January, but it's never too soon to start thinking ahead. I've been seeing posts about how fall is a new starting point for a lot of people. I think the thing I'd add to that is that any point in the year can be a starting point. It could be a random Tuesday in May when you decide, "I've had it. I'm going to start walking every day." And then you do it. Starting points are any time you've had enough of the old habits and you want a change. I have nothing to back me up on this, but my theory is that if you wait until later to start, you're probably not going to do it at all.  

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

I've set a lot of goals over the years, but 2024 is the first year I've actually followed through on the majority of them - even though there were some starts and stops and restarts throughout the year. I think one of the biggest reasons for the changes this year is because I wrote my goals down in so many places. I made it public on the blog (for the six people who read it). I posted about it on Instagram (for the 15 people who see those posts). I wrote them in paper notebooks for my own reminder. I set goals in my digital notes on my phone so I could check in and check them off every month. I made new savings accounts for specific financial goals as a tangible reminder every time I logged on for banking stuff. If I don't keep it front and center, then other things take over and the goals fade into the background of busyness. 

Throughout the year I've had little thoughts here and there about the goals I'd like to set for 2025. And although it's a little early, and these aren't set in stone, I'm taking the first step towards making them happen by putting them out there for others to see. Last year I set 24 goals for 2024. I don't know that I'll set 25 goals this year, but this is the starting point. And since goals change and evolve over the year, I think I'll leave room to add to this list as the months tick past. Some are similar to the goals I set for myself this year. Some have slight tweaks. Some are totally new. And all of them stretch me in some way, which is really why we have goals, right? Because staying the same is boring. Let's not be boring.

2025 #SimpleGoals Starting Point

1. Read 60 books (five books a month) - preferably books I already own.
2. After completing 10 TBR books from my shelf, I get one new book. (If you're a child of the 80s, think Booking It, but for adults. Instead of a personal pan pizza, I get a new book.)
3. Add the stationary bike into the mix of exercise (I have it, I just don't use it).
4. Continue to walk 5 days a week, 20+ minutes a day.
5. Get rid of one thing a day (trash and junk mail doesn't count) for a total of 365 items gone.
6. Put experiences on the calendar and make them happen.
7. Once a week, do something special with the Hubs, even if it's just grabbing coffee.
8. Try 52 new recipes (one per week).
9. More fruits and veggies for snacking.
10. Say "yes" to something that challenges me (either personally or professionally).
11. Say "no" to things that don't add value (and work on not feeling guilty).
12. Loosen up. Keep rooting out that inner control enthusiast.
13. Be intentional about spending time with individual kids.
14. Plan a trip, put it on the calendar, save for it, make it happen.
15. Intentionally build relationships - with new people, existing acquaintances, and family.
16. Listen more. Talk less. (Definitely keeping this one from 2024!)
17. Spend time with my parents (another continuation from this year).
18. Find ways to serve the local community as a family.
19. Don't stress about what "might" be. (Another goody from 2024 that I'm keeping!)
20. Write down my #iamthankful list every day. A habit I've recently restarted.
21. ???
22. ???
23. ???
24. ???
25. ???

Have you started thinking about YOUR list?

Notes from My Bookshelf: September

NOTE: To be perfectly frank, I wrote most of this blog post at the beginning of September. But the last four days of the month have changed everything. The community where I live in upper East Tennessee was devastated by Hurricane Helene. Roads washed away (including portions of I-26 and I-40 between here and Asheville, NC), houses completely gone, electricity and water cut off - in some areas it will be weeks before it comes back, people have lost everything, and the final total of casualties has yet to be determined. While we, personally, had very little direct impact (a tree down, lost water for a day), our community and the surrounding areas, are hurting, and therefore, so are we. We're doing what we can to help - cutting up trees, volunteering at our local Park and Rec to receive, organize, and hand out donations, but it the weight of this event is still being felt, and it will be years before this beautiful mountain area I am blessed to call "home" recovers. Please pray for us, for East TN and Western NC, and upstate SC. 

WRITTEN PRIOR TO 9/27 ↓

I got a new mug for this fall season that reads, "The -ber months are finally here" and nothing could sum up my feelings about autumn any better than that. The occasional morning crispness, the evening chill that takes us from summer heat to the hint that cooler seasons will not abandon us forever. The smell of bonfires, the crunch of autumn apples (dipped in caramel), and the pumpkins. Of course the pumpkins. Forever a pumpkin girl. The self-seeding pumpkin patch in my backyard is all ablaze with yellow flowers and growing enough pumpkins to satisfy even my desires. And every November, when we toss them back into the corner, it's a bit like saying, "Goodbye dear friend. We'll see you again next year, when winter has brought rot and spring has turned you to seeds. When summer is finally over and your green stems will poke out again and remind me, as surely as you always do, that you will be back, just in time for autumn." 

Photo by alex geerts on Unsplash

Knowing that I had already met my goal of 48 books for the year didn't stop me from attempting to stick to my sub-goal of reading four books a month. What did stop me was a hectic family schedule and a large proofreading job the last week of the month. Life happens. EDIT: I still had hopes when I updated this on 9/25 that I would finish at least one more book, possibly two, but after Hurricane Helene unloaded on us on 9/27, all thoughts of reading were gone.

However, it also didn't deter me from getting into some more comfortable territory, with mystery being a top contender for my attention this month (I have two more going in my Kindle app at the moment). Now that the "race" to complete the larger goal is over, I'm still focusing on the books that have been sitting on my shelves (virtual or physical) for months, even years, awaiting their turn on my nightstand. Here's what I read through this month:

1. Swiss Family Robinson by Yohann David Wyss - ★★★★ It took me almost a year to get through this book with my youngest (she was 11 when we started, she's 12 now), but it was more a matter of life interruptions than disinterest in the story. After showing her the old Disney film, I insisted that we read the book together so she could hear the original. It was our regular read-aloud on her night each week (until life intervened), but we finally finished it this month and she was glued to the story. Our biggest complaints (and the reason it's probably more like a 3.5 star than a true 4 star) was just that there were a LOT of animals and names to keep straight, and we both found that a bit difficult, in addition to the boys names being similar. However, while I don't plan on reading it again, it is a definite "should read at least once" book. Just make sure you get the unabridged version! Three-and-a-half-stars. {Amazon Associates Link}
2. The Thursday Murder Club by Richard Osman - ★★★★★ Oh my goodness, I had minimally high hopes for this one, and for once I wasn't disappointed! I've been so sick of three star books, so this was a delightful discovery. The way I've been describing it to people (and I know I'm a bit late to the party, but still...) is like every cozy BBC mystery show meets Jessica Fletcher and her friends. Nursing home friends with plenty of kick left in them, solving crimes using a lifetime of skills and connections. No questionable language (THANK YOU MR. OSMAN!), no unnecessary sexual encounters, and an ending I can totally live with. Two thumbs way up. I got this on Kindle last October, and now I'm thinking it's time to use some Barnes & Noble gift cards I've been hoarding to buy the others! Five stars. {Amazon Associates Link}

If you've made it this far, thanks for reading. Wherever you're reading from, I hope you and your family are safe and well, and that you're enjoying whatever signs of fall are showing themselves in your area. Make time to read and do the things you love, with the people you love, because we're not guaranteed tomorrow. 

Simple Goal Check-In (September)

In January I wrote a post outlining the 24 #simplegoals I had selected to work towards in 2024, and I gave a longer update in June about how things were going at the half-way point. As we're entering the final quarter of the year (mind boggling!) I thought now would be a good time to check in on those and let you know where things stand. 

Photo by Clay Banks on Unsplash

24 Simple Goals in 2024

1. Buy no new books. Two, maybe three books. Calling this a success! 
2. Read 48 books from my own shelves. DONE!
3. Use the treadmill. Walking six days a week since June 1st.
4. Put the phone down. TERRIBLE, but a work in progress.
5. Clean out and pare down. Some, but not as much as I was hoping to.
6. Save for a rainy day. Did well, had low income months, had to use it for bills.
7. Use cash for certain expenditures. Off and on.
8. Burn the candles. Two thumbs up! But...I also bought more. {Facepalm}
9. Create a repertoire of simple meals. Meh.
10. More fresh foods, less processed, sugary, high-carb stuff. Definitely working on this!
11. Avoid Amazon on bad days and late nights. Better, but room for improvement.
12. Say "yes" to something new at work. I just did, in fact!
13. Say "no" to things that don't add value. Much better at this!
14. Eat the food we already have. Working on this, but still room to improve.
15. Participate in teaching my newest driver how to drive. There's been a "pause" on that.
16. Save for a school trip in the '24/'25 school year. See "bills due, low cash months."
17. Host more meals with friends and acquaintances. There are seasons for this - yes and no.
18. Listen more. Talk less. I feel like I've improved in this area, but still room to grow.
19. Spend time with my parents. Time is fleeting. Been mindful about stopping by.
20. Give quality gifts, not quantity (next Christmas). Fewer gifts, for sure. Progress.
21. Build relationships with family. I think there have been some positive steps.
22. Write more. Shockingly, I've been faithful to write at least once-a-month on the blog!
23. Don't stress about what "might" be. I have been learning to let go faster.
24. Count my blessings. Work in progress.

Under the heading of each of these goals, I also set some sub-goals that give me baby-step achievements along the way. Something to celebrate and help with motivation. For example, when I set the goal of reading 48 books this year, I broke that down to reading at least four books a month. Obviously, there were months when I read more than that (and achieved my goal for the year sooner than expected), but setting that smaller monthly goal helped keep me on track and motivated to keep going. 

I did the same thing with using the treadmill, but I didn't figure out the sub-goals for that until the middle of the year. I had started out strong on the walking in the beginning (like most people when they set their New Year Resolutions), but then faded off after getting sick and having some calendar challenges. But in May, when I was fed up with my lack of self-discipline, I decided to set a goal for the month of June: Walk Every Day in June. About 10 days into it, after talking to a couple of my accountability partners, I decided to take Sundays off. So six days a week, I was downstairs, walking between 5-30 minutes a day. I gave myself a wide target to hit...making it easier to achieve my goal. I don't feel like walking...it's just 5 minutes. And usually, after 5 minutes, I would tell myself, "It's just 5 more, keep going." Which is how, most days, I ended up walking at least 20 minutes a day. 

In July I decided to change the target: Walk Six Days a Week, at Least 1 Mile. And I did it. In August, I decided to work on increasing my speed from a 20-minute mile, to less than 20 minutes. Didn't matter how much less, just that it was. By the end of the month I was regularly walking in the 16:50/mile range. Just by setting a smaller sub-goal to challenge myself, I was not only hitting my #simplegoals for the year, but getting a renewed sense of accomplishment each month as I checked off another goal. This month I decided I would take the first step to work my way up in mileage, by walking 1.25 miles every day, under 20 minutes. Not only is it good for my mental health, but I am noticing more stamina, less shortness of breath, and definitely better calf muscles. That's a win-win-win for simple goals!

How are you doing with your goals for the year?

Do you do a regular check-in to see how things are going?

It's not too late to set smaller goals for the remainder of the year!

The June "Simple Goals" Update

You may recall that when this year started, I set twenty-four simple goals for 2024. I've given a few updates along the way, but since I took one of those goals and broke it down into a monthly goal, I thought it was about time to update again on how things are going. As a refresher, these are the simple goals that I set back in January...and how it's going, six months in!

Photo by Ronnie Overgoor on Unsplash

1) Buy no new books. I was doing great until earlier this month. After I read The Worst Hard Time, I quickly added more of the author's books to my "Books to Remember" list. I had no intention of buying any of them before next year, but then I got on to purchase a book as a gift, and saw that several of his books were marked down (NEW) for 63% off...and, in a moment of weakness, I caved. In my defense (no, I know there's no defense here!), I did get some as gifts, but I will also be adding to my shelves, so...not counting it as a total fail (I made it six months!), but...

2) Read 48 books from my own shelves. At the time of publication, I have read 36 books from my own shelves (and a couple that were borrowed from my mother). Suffice to say, I am well on my way to achieving this goal.

3) Use the treadmill. I have had times when I have been faithful about this, and times when I have let it collect dust. In the interest of setting smaller goals, I decided to set a goal for the month of June: walk daily, for 5-30 minutes. If I successfully achieve this goal, I get a drink of my choice from Starbucks as a reward. I downloaded the HabitShare app to help me keep track. So far, I have missed one day when the Hubs convinced me to hang out with him instead, but otherwise, I'm on course to hit my goal.

4) Put the phone down. This has been CHALLENGING, but something I am daily ware of, and working on. I've been tracking my time usage each day and taking a screenshot of it to share with a friend for accountability. 

5) Clean out and pare down. This is a work in progress. But more has been going out than coming in. I think. It does seem, though, that no matter how much I clean out, there is always more. I'm not sure how that works, but I will blame the four kids who still live at home and move on. ;) 

6) Save for a rainy day. I set up several new savings accounts and have been slowly adding to most of them. Some are specific savings for things like our health expenses (so that is a continual adding too and paying from account), and home and auto taxes and insurance. Others are a general savings (for those "shoot, I need a little more in the checking to pay the bill" moments), as well as an actual Rainy Day Fund that I have been adding to (and titled "DO NOT USE"). I've been actively working on paying these accounts first whenever we get income.

7) Use cash for certain expenditures. The short answer to this is yes, on occasion. The longer answer is a little more complicated, so for now, let's just say that when we can use cash, we do, but we're not stressing over it.

8) Burn the candles. I have been very intentional about doing this, and I am loving it. In fact, as I type this, there is a "Peony and Apple" candle burning across the room and making our bedroom smell amazingly cozy. I even picked up a couple of new candles at TJ Maxx, on clearance, with the intention of burning immediately. When I finished the first candle, I turned the glass from it into a planter for a succulent I received for Mother's Day. Win-win.

9) Create a repertoire of simple meals. I'm better about this in the winter (thanks to my Crock-Pot) than I am in the summer, but we've been eating a lot of sandwiches and other convenience foods to help keep the desire to eat out at bay, and it seems to be helping. 

10) More fresh foods, less processed, sugary, high-carb stuff. Definite growth in this area. I've really been trying to stay away from the fake sugars, and have noticed an improvement in my overall health, but specifically my gut health. We've also been doing intermittent fasting for about three months now, and because of that, I find myself craving foods that fill me up for longer periods of time, since we only have a 4-6 hour window to eat. When I eat junk, I get hungry sooner. When I eat whole foods, the cravings are less. 

11) Avoid Amazon on bad days and late nights. It's so easy to hit that little Amazon app and quickly order something you "need" or have been thinking about, but I still see improvement. I think the focus on saving for specific things has helped with this. 

12) Say "yes" to something new at work. Not yet, and one thing I was considering I'm no longer sure I would say "yes" to, but I'm okay with all of that. If the stretch goal happens, great. If not, I'm totally fine.

13) Say "no" to things that don't add value. This is also a work in progress, but I have been learning how to say "no" when it doesn't work (or no longer works) for me or my family. I am working to prioritize certain things and people over other events, but more importantly, I'm learning how to be okay with that and not feel guilty for not being able to say "yes" to everyone and everything. Boundaries are a good thing.

14) Eat the food we already have. We had several months of doing this well, and then a month when I suddenly realized we were eating out 3-4 times a week! Yikes! So this ebbs and flows, but that's also why having a repertoire of simple meals is so important on the days when I'm tempted with takeout. 

15) Participate in teaching my newest driver how to drive. I'll be honest, I wasn't sure this one was going to happen. As a recovering control enthusiast...trying to teach a young and budding control enthusiast was not on the top of my "want to do" list. However, I will say that I have, in fact, gone driving with her, and we didn't kill each other. Yay, us! We still have a long way to go, though.

16) Save for a school trip in the '24/'25 school year. This is part of the savings project, and has its own savings account now, so I'm hopeful that this will happen. If not this year (just due to packed schedules, as well as money), at least next.

17) Host more meals with friends and acquaintances. We have definitely been more intentional this year about opening our home up more, both for meals and overnight guests. It's been good for us, and for our kids, to learn how to be flexible and say "yes" to people who need a space to be themselves and find encouragement. 

18) Listen more. Talk less. Work in progress. I like my words. But I'm trying. 

19) Spend time with my parents. Time is fleeting. This year, in particular, I have realized how true this is. As my father has been in the hospital a couple of times, and my parents are both getting older, I have been trying to make time in the schedule to stop by their house or meet them for lunch or just sit and talk. I know there will come a day when I can no longer do it, and I don't want to have regrets when that day comes. 

20) Give quality gifts, not quantity (next Christmas). I'm a year-round shopper, so I've been trying to keep this in mind as I've found things already this year for Christmas. I also set a lower budget this year, so that I really want to make the gifts count.

21) Build relationships with family. Towards the beginning of the year we took some steps towards this, but then life got busy and we haven't really made the progress in this area that I was hoping when I originally added it to the simple goals list. But I have tried to work on sending texts more often to those who aren't local. Baby steps. 

22) Write more. The very fact that I'm here, in the month of June, and I'm still writing, and, in fact, most months have written two posts, is proof of improvement in this area. The number of blog visitors isn't huge, but I think the difference this time is that I'm writing for me, rather than for the "reach."

23) Don't stress about what "might" be. There have been lots of "what if" situations this year, but I've been actively working to hand those over to God immediately, rather than letting my mind dwell on the things that "might" come about, or the conversations I "might" need to have. This, in turn, has lowered my stress level, and so I would give this a thumbs up (but also recognize I must be ever vigilant, lest I fall back into old habits). 

24) Count my blessings. At my work, they have a daily check-in to share things you're grateful for. This has become my place to share the good, the bad, and the ugly...and also how I am thankful for each of them. It helps me to refocus on what I can find to be grateful for in any situation, and to remind me that there is always a blessing to be found. I recently asked someone to tell me what they could be thankful for that day, and they responded with, "nothing." How sad. The sun was out, they were alive and breathing, they had a job, their bills were paid...and yet, nothing. Count your blessings. They are all around you.

 How are you doing on your goals?

Money's Tight (Another Fun Fallacy to Consider)

Fallacy (noun): a mistaken belief, especially one based on an unsound argument; a failure in reasoning which renders an argument invalid; faulty reasoning; misleading or unsound argument. 

Remember when I wrote the post about the fact that claiming you have no time for things was a common fallacy that many of us are ready to believe? I've been pondering this quite a bit over the last few weeks, and I believe I have another one: "Money's really tight right now." Before you get your knickers in a knot, let me explain. 

Yes, there are times when money just cannot stretch as far. Everything has gone up in price (I mean, seriously...groceries, gas, even the cost of used books is making me roll my eyes!). And there are definitely situations when you are wondering if it's time to look under your couch cushions and on the floorboards of the car to see if you can scrape together enough to pay the electric bill. We've all experienced lean times, and some of us are still there. And based on the shape of the country at the moment, I suspect it's going to get worse before it gets better. If it does. But I digress. 

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

Whatever the future holds, this idea of "Money's tight right now" is also a prime example of faulty reasoning. Why do I say this? Because I've heard people say it, but their choices would indicate otherwise. Does any of this sound familiar?

• Money's tight? Nice beach vacation photos on Facebook. 
• Money's tight? I see you got your nails (or hair) done last week. 
• Money's tight? I don't see you giving up your $6 cups of specialty coffee. 
• Money's tight? Interesting since we ran into you while eating out. 

Lest you think I'm self-righteously pointing fingers, I'll be the first to point back at myself. 

• Money's tight. Let's grab pizzas at Little Caesar's tonight, because I don't feel like cooking. 
• Money's tight. If I stop at McDonald's their Diet Cokes are cheaper than a stop at Starbucks. 
• Money's tight. I need a few more books for school and I couldn't find them at my local used bookshop, so I'll just click that "buy now" button on Amazon. 

These are actual examples of things I've said, thought, or acted on in the last few weeks. Yes, we are all guilty of being hypocrites from time to time, so what's my point?

Just like it was with our time, it's all about choices. 

We have time for what we make time for (vegging out on YouTube or reading a book; snacking on the couch or walking on the treadmill), and for most of us who are reading this, we also have money for what we want to have money for. Oh, maybe not everything we want (or want to do), but how and where we spend our money is still a choice for most Americans. I choose to shop discount stores and grocery clearance sales, use coupons, and eat from my freezer and I save a lot of money that way. But I also chose to eat out more often than I'm comfortable admitting - even if it's "just" $7 pizzas.

Take a look at the list below and see if anything here hits home for you (some of these I do, some of them people in my life would consider "common" and "necessary" expenditures).

• Streaming services (Netflix, Hulu, Disney+, HBOMax, Spotify, etc.)
• Amazon Prime (and Prime Channels, like Britbox, Acorn TV, or PBS Masterpiece)
• Auto-refill on apps like Starbucks, Dunkin', or McDonalds
• Pricey monthly phone plans and regular phone upgrades to the latest iPhone
• Movie tickets (plus popcorn, candy, or drinks)
• More clothes (honestly, our closets are bulging!)
• Fast-food stops or ordering "To Go"
• Expensive birthday parties for kids and over-the-top Christmas mornings
• Yearly vacations to the beach, Disney, a cruise, flying somewhere, etc.
• Food that you'll never actually eat (grocery shopping when you're hungry gets you every time!)

All of which takes me back to my original statement: We have money for what we chose to have money for. And I suspect I'm not the only one who does, so let's chose our words wisely. We need to normalize saying and thinking things like: 

• If I don't have $20 for groceries, then I don't have $20 for my streaming choices.
• If I want to take a trip next year, I don't have money for [XYZ] now. 
• I can't afford lunch out, but I can invite people in for coffee or a bowl of soup. 
• I'm choosing to save for [a car, a trip, retirement, kid's college, etc.] which means I have to say "no" to other things.
• I have a lifetime supply of books I haven't read, so I don't need to buy one more. {ahem}
• Or how about getting into the habit of saying these three things, daily...

I have enough. I am blessed. I am thankful.

There's No Time For That (A Common Fallacy)

When I set my goals for 2024, I decided to challenge myself to read forty-eight books over the course of twelve months. Not quite one book a week. I wasn't sure if I could do it. After all, life is busy. I homeschool the four kids still living at home (three of them teenagers), and when school is done I Uber them to taekwondo, band, music lessons, babysitting, cleaning jobs, and more. When I'm not driving kids around or instructing them in the "three R's," I'm checking on my parents, helping my eldest navigate the waters of adulthood, filling a grocery cart to feed my family, making meals, hosting friends, doing laundry, supporting my husband, or squeezing in a few hours a week of proofreading to help pay for it all. A clean kitchen? What's that? 

Photo by Robert Bye on Unsplash

So when I decided to aim for almost one book a week this year, I was a bit skeptical about the reality of that happening. But what I found was that I actually had quite a bit of dead space in my day between all those events. Waiting for kids? I've got time to read if I'm not running to the grocery. Everyone busy with their studies? I pull out my book at the teacher's desk, pausing to answer questions when they come. Rather than wasting time on social media first thing in the morning or at the end of the day, I now open a book or my Kindle app and "scroll" through the pages before starting the day or falling asleep. 

The point is...we have time for the things we want to have time for. 

Last month I made the decision to limit my scrolling on Instagram to one hour on Saturdays. I didn't think it would make that much of a difference, but the results have been stunning. Not only am I on my phone less, but I'm more productive in general, in addition to knocking my monthly reading goals out of the park. So before you say "I don't have time to do that," take an honest look at your day, track your phone time, and pay attention to how you spend your hours. You may be busy - in fact, you probably are - but make sure you're busy with the right things, the things that will help you meet and exceed your goals, simple or otherwise. 

Simple Goals: Month Three

Time for a check in! How are you doing with your goals? Has the year gotten away from you? Are you falling back into old patterns and feeling discouraged? Sometimes the best laid plans can get waylaid by life and laziness. I've had several conversations about this with my eldest daughter recently, as she turns twenty this year and is trying to figure out adulthood, while I settle further into my forties and try to figure out middle-age. In many ways, we're not that different, even if we're miles apart in other aspects. 

Every season brings new challenges and changes. The real question is, how will we meet them? 

Beth MacDonald on Unsplash

As a quick reminder, these were some of the 24 #simplegoals I decided to work towards this year. Nothing earth shattering, but all things that I believed would add some value to my daily life and help me grow as a person (or shrink, in the case of trying to walk more and eat more fresh/less processed). 

Let's look at the failures first. 

By calling them "failures" I only mean that these are not things that I have chosen to prioritize. I recognize that I could be successful in all of these things if I had the self-discipline, willpower, or "want to" to make them happen. They are not, in and of themselves, things that are too difficult to achieve. They are, however, things that I have spent some time trying (or thinking about trying, in the case of the last item) in 2024, and have not successfully built a habit of doing on a regular basis...yet.

👎 Use the treadmill. I started strong. Twenty to thirty minutes, at least three days a week, usually over lunchtime. But then I had a week where I didn't feel good. And then a week where I just didn't feel like it. And then a week with another boatload of excuses. And the next thing I knew...it had been a month. This isn't something I'm giving up on, in fact, I started back again last week, 5 minutes here, 20 minutes there, but up until now it's not been something I've prioritized as I should.

👎 Create a repertoire of simple meals. I haven't honestly put a lot of effort into this. I've continued to make the same mix of meals that I've been making for months now. I've switched a few things up here and there, but, again, this is not something I have made a priority in my daily life.

👎 Use cash for certain expenditures. Much like the treadmill, I started out strong in January on this. I happened to have cash on hand, which made it easier to divvy up into envelops and when the envelopes were empty, that was it. This worked really well for eating out, until I ran out of money. I do like to use cash, but the fact of the matter is, I would rather use a card (that we pay off each month), because it's easier. I'm not giving up on this one, I'm just trying to figure out a good balance.

👎 Participate in teaching my newest driver how to drive. This is something that has crossed my mind, but there's never a good time. We're in a hurry, other kids are with us, she still needs to learn some of the basics (with the Hubs), it's raining, it's nighttime, we're in my car, etc. Let's be honest, as a recovering control enthusiast, I know this is something I should do (for my own practice), but it's definitely going to take some effort and planning (and more willingness on my part). 

And now let's take a look at some of the successes so far this year! 

These are goals that apparently hit a sweet spot. They just seemed to click, for whatever reason, and didn't really take that much work to turn into habits. It just took finding the "want to" as my husband likes to say.

👍 Read 48 books from my own shelves. This is probably the goal that I have made the most progress towards. Once I decided that it was something I wanted to be intentional about, it meant I was carrying a book with me everywhere. I read while waiting for the kids at their various activities, I read at night (rather than vegging out on YouTube), I read during the quiet moments of school - between questions. Because of that, I've read twenty books so far, and counting. 

👍 Save for a rainy day. Towards the end of January I made a digital checklist of things I wanted to do (e.g. read four books a month) or save for (e.g. a vacation). I broke down how much we needed to save each month to pay the taxes and insurance on our own home, a rental we own, our car insurance, our health insurance, plus savings for Christmas, vacation, and a "rainy day fund" for the unexpected. Once I broke that down, I separated our savings accounts into specific categories. Having a checklist (complete with cute emojis) has helped keep me on track with this. As soon as money comes in, it has a home to go to, and that helps keep the spending in check as well. 

👍 Eat the food we already have. This has been another big win. After the cash idea petered out, I fell back into old patterns of grabbing takeout when I didn't feel like cooking. This went on for a couple of weeks and I quickly realized this wasn't going to work, as takeout for six adds up quickly in 2024. With renewed focus (and building in allowed cheats - such as picking up Little Caesar's pizzas on Friday nights after all-day kid activities), I made a nice dent in our freezer and pantry stash, with plenty left to keep going, and hopefully encourage that creatively simple meal repertoire that has failed so far. 

👍 Put the phone down. I would call this one a work in progress. I have definitely become more mindful of the number of times a day I pick up my phone. It's not good. And I have set timers on my phone for social media apps, that I all too often switch up, when the time just isn't enough. I'd like to say I have more self discipline than my aforementioned nearly 20-year old when it comes to my phone, but it's just as easy an addiction for me as it is for her. However, I'm including it in the successes because it's something I'm constantly mindful of now (and wasn't before) and something I'm actively working on. 

*   *   *   *   *

We're halfway through the third month of the year. If you've set goals and stalled, start again! It's never the wrong time to try something new, to do something differently, or to simply restart a habit you paused for a season. And don't be afraid to make an entirely new list if you so choose! There are no goal police who are going to come knocking on your door because you said you would train for a marathon only to realize that walking your neighborhood fulfills your goal of becoming less sedentary. And maybe next year you'll walk a 5k, and the next year you'll run a 5k, and five years from now you might find yourself signed up for your first marathon. The point is, break it down into smaller goals, and celebrate the successes along the way. Goals are personal, so get out there and find your sweet spot this month! 

24 Simple Goals in 2024

It doesn't have to be fancy. It doesn't have to be big. It doesn't have to be mind-blowing or world-changing. It just needs to be something to aim for. Something to work towards. Something to help you say no when you want to say yes...or yes when you want to say no. Simple goals. 

Photo by Kelly Sikkema on Unsplash

24 Simple Goals in 2024

1. Buy no new books.
2. Read 48 books from my own shelves.
3. Use the treadmill.
4. Put the phone down.
5. Clean out and pare down.
6. Save for a rainy day.
7. Use cash for certain expenditures.
8. Burn the candles.
9. Create a repertoire of simple meals.
10. More fresh foods, less processed, sugary, high-carb stuff.
11. Avoid Amazon on bad days and late nights.
12. Say "yes" to something new at work.
13. Say "no" to things that don't add value.
14. Eat the food we already have.
15. Participate in teaching my newest driver how to drive.
16. Save for a school trip in the '24/'25 school year.
17. Host more meals with friends and acquaintances.
18. Listen more. Talk less.
19. Spend time with my parents. Time is fleeting.
20. Give quality gifts, not quantity (next Christmas).
21. Build relationships with family.
22. Write more.
23. Don't stress about what "might" be.
24. Count my blessings.

What's on your list?

The Restart

One of my favorite things about each day is that it's new. I haven't yelled at bad drivers; I haven't overreacted with my kids or spouse; I haven't eaten all the snacks in my secret stash and then regretted my choices. As L.M. Montgomery's famous redheaded orphan quips, "Isn't it nice to think that tomorrow is always fresh, with no mistakes in it yet?" It's the same reason I love Mondays and the first day of each month. It's a fresh new starting point, an opportunity to begin again and move past the mistakes of last week or the previous month. 

It's why, after 14 years, I pulled the plug on a blog that was no longer working for me. All the promises of writing regularly, finding your niche, and expanding to include social media channels - all the things you're "supposed" to do if you want to hit it big - weighed me down. Not because I was good at them and succeeding, but because I felt the weight of my failure every time I went to the blog. I never achieved the notoriety I once thought I might.

So I closed it down and felt relief. But then I thought about my love of new days, Mondays, new months, and January 1 - fresh starts and no expectations, just possibilities. Why not start a new blog? Not one that is bogged down in 14 years of history, but one that is simply an outlet for me. Whether people find and read it - or don't - is not the point this time. What a novel idea...doing something for the pure enjoyment of it, rather than running after the numbers.  

So consider this my restart. I'm writing for no one but myself. I'm making a record of the things I'm learning and working on. I'm not worried about views or shares or social media tags. If I have something to write about, I will. If I have nothing, there's no pressure. It's Monday and New Year's all rolled into one. Hello, world. 

Look for the following blog posts, coming...whenever I get around to it. 😏

• What's Up With The Name?
• The Bucket List Cleanout
• 24 Simple Goals in 2024